ray of light

I'm an alien

(finally) a legal alien

I have the impression that the youngest in the family are usually the sweet, affectionate type. The one who sometimes literally "light

up" their parent's days.

Sometimes I wish that were me. I may be the youngest in the family but I know that I'm not the bubbly, sweet, affectionate one. I take

after my father in my being "distant" sort-of, standing on the sidelines, only there when they need me....

In moments when I realize that I am the only un-married child, that I am the one spending the most time with my parents, the one

beside them and with them when they're sick...I wish that I can make them laugh and smile the way my comic brother (if he's in the mood)

would. Or maybe at least be as caring and affectionate as my you-dont-have-to-worry-about-anything-I'll-handle-it (in terms of

housework and taking care of people) sister.

All I do really, is ... I dont know actually. I guess I make them proud because I have a good job, I'm a (relatively) good daughter, I help out

financially whenever I can and because I am independent.

But I can't make them smile. Nor can I make them laugh. And sometimes I feel that those are the things they need most.