counting up: days 15 to 16

I will be honest, I feel betrayed.
After all these years, loyalty can be set aside just like that. On one hand, it can be argued that it isn't being ignored...there were just other choices to make.

But in the end, I feel like I have been discarded.
Just like that.
And I can't just shake this off that easily.

Everyone's just waiting to throw you away.
Everyone's just waiting for you to move on. I'm taking up valuable space it seems.

wondrous revelation

it still feels the same

counting up: day 14

I think today they should be submitting the papers to those who really should have them...and I still dont know when the process will end....I'm still apprehensive about that time when the process does end anyway, so I guess I shouldnt complain.

In the meantime, a reminder of lovely beach days when there's nothing to worry about...



More lomo photos of the vacation days in allan's gallery.

counting up: day 13

Today is back to work day, official end of vacation. I dont think I did too bad....I was pretty much productive all day.

Got a sneak peek at my possible (and maybe "hopefully") future digs today. looks promising. its one exciting thing to look forward to.

On the downside, a few sad things heard today. I guess this is just how life flows...what must happen will.

counting up: days 10 to 12

Returning home has a completely different meaning for me. I won't emphasize...I know what I want to say anyway.

Days 10 til 12 proved that juggling is definitely an act for the skilled. Patience and perseverance, not to mention physical strength, is required. When every single piece that you're trying to juggle is important to you, how can you afford to drop even a single one?

On Day 11: Live fire! The fear of holding an honest to goodness gun was intense, at least for me. But the same fear made sure I had my wits about me. For a first-timer, I'd like to think I did okay...but personally, I think I could've been braver. I was not prepared mentally, nor did I think that holding a pistol required me to be. In the end, the fear was there...but I understand the exhiliration...for me, it was the thrill of holding on and not backing down, and trying to squeeze the trigger even when I knew that it was a lethal move when done carelessly.

I wish I did better. Next time I will.

counting up: days 5 to 9

Vacation got in the way in a good way...and my count-ups were disrupted. Some things I've learned (both new and not so) in the days missed:

• Its never easy to just hang by the beach with just stuff you can leave on the beach when you go for a swim. A camera is always a must, especially for vacations.
• Two new Jonah's shakes faves: 1. Mango and Banana 2. Avocado and Banana.
• Brown is beautiful so please, don't sell me your MET.
  
• No matter how long your vacation may be, its never long enough.
• I like lobster better than crab.
  

counting up: day 4

someone had a little too much last night, so most of today was spent wandering about the island...by myself for the most part. when he was normal again we soaked up some sun and took in some shakes and talked about what it would be like in the future and how we would deal. in the end, everything is still full of ??s.

i know someday we'll look back and wonder why we were having a hard time deciding and what we were deciding. for the time being, i only have my count-ups.

counting up: day 3

Today was braid day. A local kid approached me and asked if I wanted one. Since I couldnt emulate how my new 'do looked on the day I got it, I said yes to braids.

After my siesta though, some braids are gone. Well, if its a choice between sleeping or keeping my braids, I'll choose sleep :D

counting up: day 2

today is officially vacation day 1.
the order of the day is to get myself to the vacation place and get some much wanted R&R.
highlight of the day, the new Terminal 3! Woohoo! Finally, a world class airport terminal we can be proud ot.



second highlight of the day: the resort we went too had separate fees for transport etc. so in the spirit of pagtitipid we didnt go for the package. after all, madali lang mataong. but lo and behlod, as soon as we stepped out of the terminal, there was my name! We had welcome seasheell leis and company who took care of lining up, paying for stuff from the hotel. Really nice.

counting up: day 1

I realized that there's no point in doing a countdown, when I dont know the date I am counting down to. Therefore, I've decided to "count up" to THE day.

Time off from work today since I still have loads leftover.
What to do? Get a haircut!!! I was disappointed with the drastic cut I had last June when I chopped off over a years length of locks to a boring mid-length ho-hum bob . Since then I've been dying to have a 'do do-over. I finally got around to it, and I'm lovin' the results...I am so not sorry I decided to chop off my hair. I've said it once, I'll say it again....I've always been happier with short hair.

my hair when properly blow-dried

old black and white

I found some old photos of the kids, before Sam was born. These were taken either 2003 or 2004 during our Holy Week Bisita Iglesia using my film camera.

View Album

about time

r.e.s.p.e.c.t.

here's what it means to me:
it means that after all these years, some things do not change.
those who had little respect for other people's time in the past still do not have it up to now. i can rant
about it all i want, directly to the person concerned. but really, its old. if my past pleas fell on deaf ears,
it will continue to do so. so i wont. and i wont hope that next time i'll get the respect i've
been asking for. i'll know what to expect and in expecting less, i'll be less disappointed.

if only you weren't such a dear friend, it wouldnt matter that much.
but you are, so this hurts.
BUT if you dont want to learn, then i dont want to teach.

standstill
on a happier note, allan and i went with verchie and JM and his japanese guests to Corregidor island
last sunday. here is one place that has been preserved beautifully...everything from World War II still stands. at least those that still can. the remains of barracks destroyed by war so long ago,
still remain in their skeletal glory, reminding everyone that once upon a time, courageous
heroes fought each other for what they believed in. who was wrong or right doesnt even matter.
the only thing that's important when their stories are heard is that they were brave and valiant
and did not let their fellowmen down.

the island itself is beautiful...facing the always wonderful waters that surround this country.
but it will never be a resort town, and i agree that it should never be. very few places in the philippines
are as preserved, untouched and well respected as this island. i hope more people will
visit corregidor and realize that we should be respecting our past and our natural habitat more.

running out.
there's very little left.
soon, things will change drastically...andi find myself just going with the flow like i always do.
i'm not ready but i have no choice but to be ready. for the first time,
i'm trying to look ahead and plan ahead...but its not easy when there are so many
other things to consider. "bahala na" just wont cut it this time.
and yet time's up, almost.
so now i dont know what to do.