My life in a nutshell

work during the day on weekdays

on friday nights, there usually a movie to watch, a bar to go to

on saturdays, I sleep til late and then i wander off -- to the gym or to the mall
at night, I usually just find people who have something / somewhere interesting to go to

on sundays, I sleep til late and then prepare for the afternoon's soccer game with a few friends
back home, I read, watch TV or do whatever...

and then on Monday, the cycle starts again.

Pick Lit # 2: The Bell Jar

Author: Sylvia Plath

After days of writing and re-writing my pick lit review, I think I finally have something coherent...so here it is, short but sweet...

Ethel is the lead character in this Sylvia Plath novel. Here, the reader goes through her slow sink into insanity...or at least thats what reader's are led to believe. After all, she is institutionalized after a failed suicide attempt...however, if you take away the therapy and the mental home, then you are left with a young girl left with very little, if any, drive to live. She is the gifted kind, as most people depict most of those who eventually become mentally ill. A scholar and perhaps a talented writer with high dreams of becoming a famous name.

Everything changes when her mentor notes that she isnt giving it her best, and she finds herself tearful at a photo shoot. Her character struck me more as the kind who has lost her drive, her zest and her dream. She fears becoming shallow, and eventually, succumbs to thoughts of just being there, being nothing herself.

My thoughts on this: if everyone who finds themselves falling into a rut of un-eagerness, of not looking forward to anything,of not wanting to do anything but to create another life, in another city, bearing another name -- then maybe, most of us dreamers are doomed to be institutionalized?

when life becomes blah

In my dream life I have plenty of exciting, amazing and mind-blowing events to write about day in and day out.

Which is why its a dream life. The real thing gives me a 9 to 5 job (which recently changed to '8 to 10') and a splattering of fun here and there. Of course, there is also the definition of 'fun' that remains arguable.

I have a running joke with a friend of mine (and you know who you are!:p) that I have become a l o s e r. And I won't argue with that. I have always wanted a *simple* life where I work, I play when I want to, and I hang out with those I want to. So there, Loser I am.

But I do long for some ass-kicking, once-in-a-lifetime experience every now and then. Futbol once a week, looking out for my crush (how juvenile can I get???!) and the occassional shoot (okay, okay, make that RARE) just arent enough....

Maybe I'll jump off this building someday soon. With parachutes of course!

Or maybe I can change that Boracay booking to, oh say, sometime next week maybe? (Yes! I have my tickets already!!! More on this later).

I'm sitting at my desk, at work, on a Saturday afternoon, working overtime, trying to kick start some decent work thought trail.

Yet all I can think of this afternoon is how much I want to...

I realized a few days back how obnoxious I can be. I don't mean to be, its just that when I'm in the mood to joke around, I sometimes get carried away, I don't stop and maybe, I end up irritating some people.
Everytime I look up from my laptop I see the light outside....no, I don't feel the urge to go out and bask in the sun (not at the moment) I want to be HERE. Yes I am here, but not wholly here. I'm here, yet I am displaced somewhat. My thoughts are travelling, to that place where I should not, must not allow them to go.

Otherwise, I'll find myself in yet another frustrating position....and the cycle -- though different in circumstance as the one before, the repercussions remain the same -- begins anew.

drained.

How is it possible to feel soo tired because of work, to be busy all day working

and yet not really accomplish anything??!?

Frustrating day.

I hope I never get have one of these days again.

. . . . .

.... about to embark on a perilous journey.

its not entirely an unfamiliar situation...but daunting still.

Crash and burn, baby.

Its the only way to go.