here i am.

Oh how time flies...

It seems like it was only yesterday when I was putting together a weeklong beach vacation, and now, here I am, bundled up in 5 layers of clothing in a country without snow, but could just very well have snow with all this chill in the air. To top it off, I'm 24 hours away from spending my first night in my first ever apartment. Yes, MY APARTMENT. Which I will be paying for. Which I will be furnishing. Not to mention cleaning.

Oh how time flies indeed. Living on my own used to be a difficult goal to achieve. Now its the only way to go. Somehow I feel embarassed...like I'm growing up so late in life. But then again, it isn't uncommon for those in situations similar to mine anyway.

In less than a month, it will be Christmas. And this will be my first Christmas away from home, away from family and on my own. Contrary to what people may think, the thought doesn't depress me. Its sad, sure. I'll miss the family and our simple Christmas traditions. But at the same time, I've always clamored for some alone time...and alone on Christmas is as 'alone' as it can get...

That makes me think though...maybe this whole trip, instead of taking me out of whatever shell I was in, is actually sucking me in deeper? I've been wanting to move into my own place and wanting to settle in so I can curl up and watch cable all day. I've been repeatedly saying that I wanted to go to places where I can just 'kick back' and avoid the crowds because I have no strength to exert effort and meet people.

I guess in a few weeks I'll find myself feeling differently. That's just how it is, after all. Things change and they keep changing.