I ought to be outside, walking about this town which will be home for the next few months. But I'm not. Though the sun is shining quite brightly today, I don't feel any urge to move out of my room just quite yet.
That is the weird thing about me. Its takes a while for me to settle in and get used to the idea of being displaced before I can completely dive in and go crazy. Well okay, maybe thats not how I usually am. But for this trip, that is how things are.
And I bring it back to the fact that I've always been reluctant about this trip. Let it be known that before I got here, I had fear and apprehension. That I almost believed that I could not and would not be able to pull this off. Maybe I was doubting my skills, or maybe, just maybe, I wanted an excuse to stay home.
I was enjoying myself immensely, living a non-hurried, non-superficial life where I did what I wanted to do and said no to a lot of things that I didn't want to do. I had just revamped my fun-people circle, due mostly to circumstances that cannot be prevented, tried it all out for size and was almost at the peak of using it to abusive heights.
And then I have to be displaced.
But then, I suppose that's how my life has always been. Living and experiencing something, to the point where it has to be either taken away or changed by myself or some other external forces, and then bouncing back and starting again. Be it work, love, friendship or recreation. Its a pattern that defines my 26 years of existence.
So maybe now I'll head out to explore? Maybe later, when I feel for coffee.
Or maybe I'll toss a coin and let the euro head or tail decide for me. Or maybe not.
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